so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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