Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
