Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't

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(973): View more from New Jersey

if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!

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(303): View more from Colorado

I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.

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(585): View more from New York

He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.

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(917): View more from New York City

Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.

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(613): View more from Ontario

my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.

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(319): View more from Iowa

She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.

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