So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
