I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize