i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
