did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
