i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
