Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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