I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize