Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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