Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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