Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
