Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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