therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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