We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
