This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
