the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
