the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
