Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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