Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
