I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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