I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
