my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Randomize
