She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize