he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
