I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
