I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
