I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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