She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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