I wish I could teleport
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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