Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
