Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
