pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
How naked do you want me to be?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
