I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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