So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think my vagina is haunted
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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