i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
