24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Ketchup is God's man juice
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
And then he peed in my hair
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