I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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