...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My balls are so social today.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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