Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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