I showed him my bush... on skype.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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