oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
