Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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