It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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