glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
