If i come over, it means nothing
Duck Duck Cougar?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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