My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
