dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I think a kid would responsible me up
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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