Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
operation have a gay friend backfired
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
