doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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