yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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