Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
