I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
