so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
