We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
