oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
