So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
