"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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