He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize