I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
