yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
