just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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