You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
