How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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